Dear Diary….sorry, but not sorry, for neglecting you

I’m sorry to have not written my blog for over 10 days, as it was something I wanted to make regular, and I also had that thought in the back of my mind that someone might actually be out there, reading this, and being helped by it in some way. So, I didn’t want to let him/her/them down – typical people pleaser!

But I’m not sorry in that what has kept me too busy to write for the last 10 days has been really positive. I believe that positive thinking leads to opportunities appearing in our lives, that, otherwise wouldn’t have arisen due to our negative thinking or lack of self belief. I do believe that when we find ourselves repeating the same behaviour day in, day out, that we just don’t free up the time, or the space in our minds, to allow new opportunities to come to us. It’s like we’ve closed a door and have limited ourselves to the same four walls we’ve always seen. The same job, same people, same diet, same habits. And for most of us, we’re ‘settling‘ for what we have and just accepting that there’s nothing more and that we need to ‘make do‘.

Since stopping drinking over a month ago, I’ve had more time and I’ve enjoyed more clarity. I’ve been more organised and I’ve felt more positive. Two weeks ago I was offered a new job, and one week ago I was offered some free training for another job! Coincidence, or the result of making a positive change in my life, and consequently altering my mindset? I believe it’s the latter, and that through ridding myself of a bad habit, and through taking back the mental energy that habit robbed me of, that I have been rewarded with new, positive options I can choose, or not choose, to take. Well, I chose them! And so I’ve been working hard at building my confidence to believe what others seem to believe I have in me – some real talent and ability!

My new job is going well so far (to be fair, it’s only day 2 tomorrow!), and I’ve just started the training for a new qualification. My typing right now is me on a student-style tea break! I love waking up after a good night’s sleep feeling hopeful and as ready as I’ll ever be for the next challenge. I couldn’t have done all this with alcohol in my life. It robbed me off too much energy, confidence and sleep. Alcohol is a depressant I’m happy to be going without.

As a footnote, I seem to have replaced wine with cake and hot chocolate! Just as rewarding, and so much better for me (balanced out with some exercise of course!).

A much better alternative to booze!

UPDATE! January 2020. Just to prove that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows (or however the saying goes), I quit that new job after 6 weeks! I wasn’t what I had expected and left me feeling very stressed, overworked and unsupported. So, I returned to my previous job which I had kept going (thankfully). Also, the course was useful but the promise of work upon qualification was a joke! The pay worked out at $6 an hour, and there were ridiculous proofreading and editing timelines to meet.

For a while, I was really disappointed and wondered whether I was a failure. Then I realized that that wasn’t it at all. I just wasn’t prepared to undersell myself, and that teaching to 30 disruptive children was ‘not my bag’!

So, onwards and upwards. I’m now pursuing what has interested me for years – health and wellness and will become a coach, where my teaching experience will come to good and positive use!

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