Experiencing the ‘symptom imperative’?

This, from the TMS Wiki site: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/The_symptom_imperative

The symptom imperative

When a patient makes a major TMS symptom subside by doing “the work”, the brain is no longer effectively achieving its goal of distracting attention away from emotions. To counteract this, the brain will attempt to find a new area of focus, with the result that the patient often gets a new symptom – which can become chronic if it is not recognized for what it is.

The patient can have TMS knowledge and even a strong conviction about their main symptom being TMS, but will continue to experience new symptoms if deeper emotional issues are not eventually addressed.

The emergence of new symptoms as old ones subside is called the symptom imperative.

I’m working on the reasons for my lower back pain and have been ‘sent’ something else to deal with to distract me – a stinking cold and I’ve lost my voice for the last two days! This may or may not be the symptom imperative but it’s doing a good job as one.

My daughter has suggested I start using sign language as she’s finding my strained whisper a little annoying!

It’s not been pleasant, but interestingly enough, my back has felt less stiff and painful for the last two days. This cold and ‘let up’ on pain in the usual area has also coincided with the most amazing weekend at the National Running Show in the UK with my best friend – another great distraction from the TMS.

So, although I’ve been suffering a little, this has enabled me to focus away from my usual ‘ape to modern man’ walk as I get out of bed in the morning and look after myself to get better. I wasn’t really doing that before, and just ‘ploughing through’ the pain symptoms. Perhaps my mind is asking me to slow down properly this time…….

I’ll post an update soon.

Me getting up in the morning! Not for much longer…

Why NOT me?

What makes me any ‘less’? It’s time to wade through the fear.

As I look at professional coaches’ websites, Instagram posts, Facebook posts, blogs etc etc I find my stomach tightening, and I think it’s from fear. Fear of them because they are better than me, more intelligent and more wise than I am, with so much more to offer the world than I could possibly have. And then I see this image, posted by Dawn Nickels from She Recovers (https://sherecovers.co/) and it makes me think: what if it’s just fear and it’s not true? What if I AM as good as these people and that I, TOO, can make a difference?

It excites me, and at the same time it terrifies me! But isn’t that what it’s all about – feeling the fear and doing it anyway? Faking it until you make it? It’s been a long time since my last blog post and I wonder why I haven’t posted recently. When I really consider the reasons (of which they are no doubt many – one of them being a busy working mum to two teenagers) I realise that some of this ‘going off the radar’ comes from fear: fear that people I know will ‘find’ me and mock me for my writing. Fear that I will ‘out’ myself and make a fool of myself. And fear that my words are falling into an abyss where no-one is present or listening, where they have no impact whatsoever.

Then I realise that it’s a big old world! That there are millions of people out there, many with the same fears as me. And that we all have a story to tell. And that telling that story might just help someone else. This sounds a little all-encompassing I know, but I have plans! Watch this stage. It’s time to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’.